"HER"
"I can see her silhouette, a frame of a woman who I greatly desire. Not in an unorthodox sort away, you see this woman is the me I want to be... She's fearless, un-wavering in her emotions...exuding strong faith & wrapped in genuine humility, Her smile is Joyously bright, Her presence shifts the atmosphere, Her thoughts cause her to speak life, dream big, & laugh without fear of the future. If only I could ever be HER...if just one day as Her were ever possible...I'd give anything"
"UNRAVELING"
I'm slowly coming apart...piece by piece my identity is falling to the floor. I'm fighting back the tears... as the faint sounds of hope fade out into the distance. I feel spiritually bare, bruised and beaten by the enemies lies...too weak to rise, fight back, or even cry...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can you relate to either of these short poems? I wrote these at a time where my negative thoughts and overwhelming anxiety had literally consumed me. I'd often wish to be anyone else but me, because It felt like the weight of the world was on my back. it was starting to affect me not only mentally but physically (i.e. physical exhaustion & shortness of breath).
These feelings occurred daily, I had absolutely no consistent peace because the moment I'd wake up, my mind would be constantly racing with negative thoughts about my future, about my choices, about my relationships, about everything, & I just couldn’t lay this burden down!
My negative thoughts always cause ripple effects. One thought can lead to stress, then anxiety, then depression.This cycle causes me to feel like I'm on a small ship in the middle of a ragging sea and I'm about to get shipwrecked and drown! It's simply overwhelming, and what's even worse is that these feelings seem to come out of nowhere!
Recently, I've made some changes in my life that have freed me from the bulk of my negative thoughts & anxiety, however I still have my moments and God helps me through it every time. Just this past Tuesday during a young adult service God revealed to me just how much I had been carrying and even things I still have a hold on that I thought I had let go. On top of that, He showed me the areas of generational oppression that the enemy has placed on my family for generations and how I have the power to break it! #God'sTheUlitmateCounselor
God encouraged me to write out all of the lies that have been spoken over me and to speak His word over those lies. He said that my freedom was an arm's reach away if I'd just trust Him and let go of these burdens that have been causing the chaos in my mind. So I have some homework to do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a Challenge for you!
I encourage you to do the same, write down every lie the enemy has lead you to believe and find scriptures in God's word to refute those lies. For example, if you've been told that you are not beautiful or that you are not worthy, guess what, whoever said that lied to you! God says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14). If you are discouraged because you've failed at making good choices in your past and people have tried to count you out guest what, God says although you may fail you can get back up and start again!
(Micah 7:8). Write it out (the lies) and cast them out! With God's word!
"...Let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written..."
(Romans 3:4)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When dealing with stress and anxiety, don't just brush it off thinking God won't care, or that your strong enough to handle it on your own. Nope! take it to the father!! All of your problems rather they be big or small, all matter to God. He's a good Father and He only wants the very best for His children.
"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 4:6-7)
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
(1 Peter 5:7)
A good place to start when dealing with negative thoughts or anxiety is to ask, "What caused this?" What did you encounter that has now caused your thoughts to be altered? Was it a bad decision or a life circumstance? Get to the bottom of it and bring the core issue along with its symptoms directly to the Father in prayer!
You are so valuable to God, remember that!
"what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?
You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor."
(Psalm 8:4-5)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't fall for the trap!
Lastly, while experiencing the stressors of life it is natural for some people to retreat or isolate themselves from others. The enemy wants to keep you in that place of bondage and his best strategy is to have you alone soaking in the negative thoughts of your circumstances, especially when you're not strong enough to speak life over yourself. If you find yourself drifting away from church , or family, or biblical community, reach out and ask for support in prayer. You don't have to fight alone and there is hope for you & I to get through this!
I often think of the lyrics to this song called "King of My heart" when I'm going through the storms of my mind:
"Let the King of my heart be the WIND inside my sail, the ANCHOR in the waves, oh he is my song."
It's basically saying that God is your guide (the wind) through all the chaos of life, and He's also your support (the anchor).
Trust in His word and in His counsel to rid your mind of negative thoughts. He won't allow you to be thrown overboard the ship!
{*Listen to the song below*}
Grace & Peace Be With You,
Kaneisha