"I thought by now I'd be a lot closer to my goals,
this is not at all what I had planned,
where do I go from here?,
OMG It's always one test after another,
Great,...here comes another financial set back,
Lord, when will my moment come?
Have you stopped listening to me?
Should I even keep praying?
Lord, this doesn't look like what you promised me at all!.."
It’s an all too familiar place, its somewhere between trusting & believing God for his promises BUT having moments of impatience, confusion, and doubt. this is also known as the WAITING phase. To be honest, this phase is not that enjoyable, it actually sucks! It's like standing in line for the best roller-coaster in the park and you're only a few feet from the greatest adrenaline rush ever! yet its taking forever to get on it! Or if you live in Atlanta like me, it's like only working 25 minutes away but battling 1-2 hr traffic on the way home! Waiting SUCKS! There is no pleasant way to put it....but would you believe me if I told you there was beauty in our waiting?
"It’s a cold reality, when your Life don't match your Dreams"
(Song, "Day Dreaming", Sean C. Johnson)
The lyric to this song couldn’t be more fitting to my season of life right now. I'm struggling with not losing faith for the dreams & hopes I've yet to obtain. I find myself often discouraged and sometimes upset that God hasn’t come through on some of the things I desire. It's really hard to grasp at times because I'm not hoping for material or temporal things, I'm asking God for things that He himself desires! Like marriage, financial stability, my purpose, family, Joy, Peace etc.
I find myself in limbo with my faith regarding these things & to be honest some of them have subtly become an idol. These things aren't bad, but they have taken my focus off God's character and His sovereignty. I've somehow developed this sense of entitlement like somehow God "owes" me these things. But He's been speaking lately, and man have I been listening!
"If I never get that house That car, or be, a superstar And my dreams, never come true Will I be satisfied, with you? And if no one ever knows My name, and my gifts, don't bring me fame? If everything I have someday I Lose. Will I be satisfied, with you?"
(Song, "Satisfied"-The Walls Group-Satisfied)
~Jesus Is More Than Enough!~
"But godliness with contentment is great gain."
(1 Timothy 6:6)
All this year God has been testing me and strengthening me in the area of Trust! Recently, He's been speaking to me about the importance of anchoring my complete hope and faith in Him. He says, "Your sustainability can only be found in me...I'm the one who brings true life." (paraphrasing here, He didn’t text me this lol). That hit me hard, I realized that I've been to focused on obtaining "My" dreams, like somehow life doesn’t start for me until I get married or when I get the "dream" job, but God says, "no! If your hoping in things or people for your Joy & sustainability to come, you will never be full!" God wants me satisfied with just Him!
This doesn’t mean that He doesn’t want to grant me my desires, like I mentioned earlier, the things I want God actually is ok with, so He'd be happy to grant them to me! He just doesn’t want my desires to be the source for my joy or distract me from my purpose in this life.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"
(Psalm 37:4-6)
Don’t you realize how dangerous it is to anchor your trust in material things or the people of this world? Everything is always subject to change. Your relationship status, your bank statement, your address, your friends, your career... God is the only reliable source!
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
(Hebrews 13:18)
It's heartbreaking to hear about the suicides that have recently occurred from 2 prominent industry leaders in the fashion and culinary arena. I can't imagine what it must have been like for them to have everything they ever wanted yet still fill empty with no relief to pull them out of their place of darkness. That’s why it's so important to look to God for sustainability.
"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
(Mark 8:36)
God wants us to prosper! But in the mist of striving to obtain success we can often be mislead by our emotions or desires while waiting for Him to reveal our destiny. No matter how long the process seems to be taking, choosing His path is the easier solution!
"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me;
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”
(Matthew 11:30)
"On Christ, the solid rock, I stand; All other ground is sinking sand"
(Song, "The solid rock"-Charlie Hall)
~There is Beauty in the Waiting~
While waiting, it may seem like you've been forgotten or that your prayers have been overlooked, but remember God's ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Your perspective may only be for the next five years, but God is thinking about the generation that’s to come from you! He knows the end from the beginning, and the plans he has for you were established before you even took your first breath! Trust that your waiting won't be in vain.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jeremiah 29:11)
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8-9)
"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."
(Psalm 139:16)
~What Real Waiting looks Like~
"So many disappointments So much I don't understand So much I don't have answers for That's what makes me trust You more In a world that's always changing... Everything's rearranging But no matter what's going on... Ima be standing... Ima be holding on"
(Song, "I Believe"- Mail Music)
I've been looking like a whole toddler in my waiting lately. I've been pouting, complaining, worrying & doubting (with a few tears in between each) #AHotMess, so what should our waiting look like? Well Mali Music summed it up for you above.
Real waiting looks like trusting in God's wisdom through your confusion, set-backs, and disappointments. It looks like continuing to move forward in your walk with God even when you don't know where it will lead you. It doesn’t matter that you lost that job, or that relationship, & yea you still have debt to clear up, and so what that other thing didn’t work out! Waiting looks like taking it day by day, instead of sitting down in the race of faith, you choose to pack up all of your circumstances and emotions in a suit case of hope as you continue to walk God's path!
~Through the waiting God is working! ~
During this phase, seek to understand the areas where God is trying to grow you. Is it patience, submission, trust, love, stewardship, leadership, humility, money management? Growth in these areas will reap eternal gain and will set you up for greatness in the seasons of life to come. Can you see the beauty in the waiting now? God hasn’t forgotten us, He's simply preparing us for our best moments!
"Slow down, take time Breath in He said He'd reveal what's to come The thoughts in His mind Always higher than mine He'll reveal all to come"
"Take courage my heart Stay steadfast my soul He's in the waiting He's in the waiting Hold onto your hope As your triumph unfolds He's never failing"
(Song, "Take Courage"- Kristene DiMarco)
God has a plan for your life & there is greater in store! Keep praying! Keep Trusting! & Keep Living Righteously! Don't think of the waiting phase as a punishment or a "time-out" from God. seek the beauty in the process. So let's draw near to God's presence so that He can fully equip us in this season of waiting for what we are hoping for!
"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."
(Galatians 6:9)
Grace & Peace be With You
Kaneisha