Alarm goes off, I hit snooze, 5mins later, I hit snooze again. Finally after 3 snoozes I jump out of bed. Now the routine has commenced:
Morning Duties:
*Wash face & brush teeth (check)
*Clothes and Jewelry (check)
*Hair & Make Up (check)
*Grab lunch out the fridge (check)
*Run out the door (check)
*Quick Prayer in the car (Check)
Weekly Routine:
*Clock in to work...8 hours later clock out of work
*Sit in traffic for an hour or so each day,
*Monday-Straight home from work, shower pack lunch, a little chill time then bed
*Tuesday-Serve & attend young adult service after work, rush home, shower, pack lunch, no chill, bed
*Wednesday- Serve at a different service after work, rush home, shower, pack lunch, no chill, bed
*Thursday- Straight home after work a little chill time then bed
*Friday- TGIF (hopefully no plans, I'm tired)
***BLINK-Weekend disappears #What weekend?
*Monday-I'm back at it again...
Here it is, my daily life...the same thing over and over again each week. I know you probably got a little sleepy reading it and It's ok, because I've also become bored with this routine, I'm pretty much functioning on auto pilot these days. I'm just taking it day by day, no expectations and not much to look forward to, just living...making it .
I've noticed that this routine has often caused me to get a little too comfortable, complacent, lazy, and nonchalant in my walk with God. I haven't prayed as specific as I use to, because I don't "feel" motivated enough to do it. I don’t read my word as much because I simply haven't made the time, and reading is no good anyway if your heart isn't in a place to receive it. When I serve, it doesn’t always "feel" enjoyable, I know it should be a sacrifice but it often feels like a burden or inconvenience. But I continue, because I know I should serve...and I need biblical community.
I've lost my zeal for simply enjoying God's presence, which shortens my communication with him (hence the quick prayer in the car). I've allowed my emotions about my current season in life to get in the way of our relationship...and in the way of my worship. Thoughts of my circumstances have depleted my tank full of Joy & I've been running on empty!
Being in the waiting phase can be challenging, especially If you focus only on the things you lack. You will become discouraged which is where I've been lately. My eyes can't process the blessings around me, or see any hope in the distance, and it leads me to a place where I just do enough to get by instead of digging deeper. I've started to feel like my life doesn’t really have a purpose, that it will always just be a basic routine.
What's so dangerous about this, is that it shifts my view of the way God sees me. Sometimes I feel like He'll only reward or provide for me based on what I do or don't do. So I'll think, "I shouldn’t asked Him for that, because I haven't been consistent" or "Pray for what? This is just how it has to be for right now." Or sometimes, I think that praying about the things that make me unhappy makes me seem ungrateful about the things I have, so I'd rather not ask. But God isn't withholding blessings from me because of my lack of performance & His views of me are not negative at all...even in my complacency.
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!"
(Psalm 139:17)
"What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?
For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor.
You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet,"
(Psalm 8:4-8)
Although our test of faith is hard, it's not wise to get comfortable or to slow down. We must consistently build our faith and continue to fight the good fight! The enemy loves for our passion to diminish because it's easier for us to fall into sin when we're bored. Sin can start off very subtle, watching one or two episodes can turn into a complete binge watch leaving you "too tired" to read a single chapter of the Word or "too tired" to get up for church the next morning. All of a sudden you stop investing your time into things that feed your soul and don't realize that your flesh has been feasting until you've backslidden! (#DangerZone)
"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses."
(1 Timothy 6:12)
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
(1 Peter 5:8)
What I love about God is that He is always in constant pursuit of me even when I'm in my feelings. Over the past few weeks, He's sent other members of the faith to speak life into me, to prophesy confirmations of his promises to me, and He's provided some accountability for my prayer time. God is helping to shake the complacency off me! He is so faithful!
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."
(Philippians 1:6)
"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."
(1 Thessalonians 5:25)
Last week during worship He kept saying "Remember Me." What I took from that was, He understood how I've been feeling and how I've been unmotivated to pray, read, or serve. He wanted me to remember Him! That He's the reason for why I do all those things, why I write these blog post, and why I'm even alive!
"For in him we live, and move, and have our being..."
(Acts 17:28)
By placing my eyes on Him, all the other things in my life can be revived...Thoughts of Him and what He's done for me restores my passion & zeal to worship Him just because of who He is and not what He can do for me. It reminds me that He's not against me, and that I'm valuable to Him. It also reminds me of how important the plans He has for my life are, because He didn’t die for me to live a basic routine life NO!, HE's promised life more abundant and it will come to past!
"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
(John 10:10)
Grace & Peace Be With You,
Kaneisha
~Listen to this Worship Song below~
"My eyes above what it looks like My eyes above what it looks like I will only see all You promised me...
My faith beyond what it feels like
My faith beyond what it feels like
All the way to You,
All the way to breakthrough, breakthrough"
(Song,"Fall"~The Belonging Co)