Are YOU "The One"

"The WORLD says to find "The One" The WORD says to become the "The One" worth finding."

-Pastor Johnson Bowie

We all like to think of ourselves as the ultimate catch, but if we're honest, we don't always live up to our own standards, yet we expect others to. Finding "The One" involves a process, some choose to swipe left or right until they get their "match" or go on a reality show, or maybe they scroll through social media hoping to land on the profile of "Mr. or Mrs. Right." In any case, finding your soul-mate can be a waiting game. Dating God's way typically comes with an extended season of singleness. But while in this season, God will not only transform your mind about romantic relationships, but He'll also reveal things about you that might surprise you!

Before I came to know Christ, my view of dating and relationships was completely different. First of all, I thought I was the full package! Beauty, Brains,& Style! So I created a "list" to find MY perfect match. This list ranged in numerous shallow preferences like "he has a 5-yr plan and he's Tall, Dark, & Handsome" lol. I would treat dating like it was episodes of "The Bachelorette" and "explore my options" by dating a few guys at a time. I had it down to a schedule! Movies with Mike on Monday, Tacos with Tony on Tuesday, lol. I'd go through each date checking off my list of preferences and if the guy didn’t match up he would be cut! I'd continue this process until I found the guy I was most interested in, then we would discuss dating exclusively and I'd commit to him #HeGotTheFinalRose

In my mind it made sense to get to know them all (while enjoying free outings) and to "weed out" the bad guys as I went along. I thought this system would lead me to my match faster, but sadly, whenever I thought I found "The One" I would later realize that who I hoped they were was not as it seemed. After a series of failed dates & relationships, I did what I like to call a "self-assessment.I really wanted to know what caused all my relationships to fail, I was the full package remember! It was sad to admit that I was part of the problem all along!

When I gave my life to Christ, I began to value others, especially in a relational context. I no longer felt comfortable wasting people's time and hard earned money when I knew I was not interested in them lol! I wanted to pursue dating with a purpose but I needed a complete spiritual makeover first.

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

(Psalm 139:23-24)

The more I spent time with God the more of my layers he pulled back, exposing my true character. He showed me that my heart needed repair from deep wounds that I failed to notice. See, I had this deep desire that I was trying to fill through a romantic relationship that really needed to be filled with God's love.I was so fearful of being alone and I was hoping for "The One" of my dreams to come and make my life complete (like the fairy tales) but God told me that I was already completed with Him. He also showed me how much of a hot mess I was! I was prideful, a little selfish, and my view of "true love" was all wrong (ouch!)

Without God, I didn’t really know my identity nor my value, it's no wonder why I settled or compromised for relationships that were no good or a waste of time. As I grew closer to God I learned to filter everything through his word which has now given me the ability to choose whom I date wisely. With the gift of discernment, I no longer need to rely on a "list" to determine who has the potential to be "The One" I'm no longer checking for what they have on the surface! I simply observe their character and see if it aligns with God's word.

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.

Each tree is recognized by its own fruit...

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man

brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

(Luke 6:43 & 45)

Although I'm currently in a season of singleness and still hoping to be married someday I'm thankful that I have this time alone to work on my flaws. I am confident that I will be ready when "The One" comes to find me. I'm still not perfect, but God has given me His wisdom and He's teaching me how to love His way. I'm becoming more of "The One" worth finding daily.

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD."

(Proverbs 18:22)

Grace & Peace Be With You,

Kaneisha

P.S. Happy Day of "Love"